How Your Values and Anxiety Are Connected 

Do you ever find yourself anxious when you hang out with people you have to pretend around? Or maybe you get uncomfortable when you find yourself acting out in ways that you don’t feel represent who you are? Well, what you might be experiencing is cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance describes the discomfort you feel when your actions do not line up with your beliefs or values.

We all may experience some level of cognitive dissonance at some point because we simply do not live in a world perfect enough for us all to act in line with our values 100% of the time. However, depending on how authentically you behave, how honest you are with yourself or others, and how consciously you make choices that align or do not align with what you care about, the more or less anxiety you may have due to cognitive dissonance. For some, cognitive dissonance may simply lead to a level of short term discomfort, but for many, it can lead to the ruminating or racing thoughts, distractibility, tenseness, or excessive worry that make up anxiety. We may find that those of us more prone to anxiety from cognitive dissonance are faced with the experience of cognitive dissonance more often than those who experience it once in a while. 

One way to tell if your anxiety is caused by cognitive dissonance is to take an inventory of your values and behaviors. Values can include but are not limited to:

Integrity, Honesty, Respect, Responsibility, Collaboration, Inclusivity, Authenticity, Empathy, Loyalty, Justice, Compassion, Equality, Community, Spirituality, Adaptability, and Courage

Take time to identify what drives you, what matters most to you, and what is important for you to pass on to others. Your beliefs are also important in this part. What do you believe about people? The world? Yourself? Once you have determined what is on your list of values and beliefs, note the times you have felt anxious recently in relation to your actions or relationships. You may find it helpful to use the diagram shown below to help you visually see where cognitive dissonance anxiety may be sprouting from. 

This Venn diagram can help you visualize which of your anxiety inducing actions or behaviors may be related to cognitive dissonance. If you find that there is overlap between your actions and your values and you still find yourself anxious, the root is likely not cognitive dissonance and is worth exploring further. However, once you have checked for overlap, highlight what actions are left. These highlighted actions or behaviors that cause you anxiety are the ones you should spend time reevaluating more. This is a great way to see if there are patterns in your behavior as well. There may be specific types of situations or people that you find are associated with higher levels of cognitive dissonance anxiety. The following is an example of how the Venn diagram can be used:

Once you have identified what actions or behaviors you partake in that do not align with your values or beliefs and that do cause you anxiety and discomfort (the highlighted parts), ask yourself the following:

1. What prevents me from acting within my values? 

2. What constraints socially, emotionally, financially, culturally etc. may prevent me from acting according to my beliefs and values? 

3. What are the consequences of not aligning my actions and behaviors with my values? 

4. Would I feel less anxious if I acted according to my values? 

5. Are there certain people or places that make alignment harder for me? How can I change this? 

When we live our lives according to the beliefs and values that we hold, we find that even when we make hard decisions, there may be less anxiety focused inwards on ourselves. Our values may shift and evolve overtime and so taking an inventory every so often can help limit future instances of cognitive dissonance. Again, some amount of cognitive dissonance is normal, but if you notice that this discomfort is the root of much of your anxiety, there are steps that you can take to feel relief from this feeling and make you feel better about yourself too.